Dum de dum dum dee dum...

Happy toes!

Happy girls!

Today was one of my favorite days. First, because hubby got paid! We're a one income family 'til August...so this means I get to have food to feed my children for another two weeks. :) Second, because I got to spend time with the lady who has been my best friend since we were 4 years old. Third, she has little girls that I adore. Fourth, three of my favorite Gators went in the TOP TEN of the NBA draft. Woot Woot!! And last but not least, because we went to the beach. (Friend and I, not the Gators and I.) Because she has children who are younger than mine, she claims this makes her younger than me. I completely refute that argument. She is, however; three MONTHS younger than me. Anywho...

Because school administrators and school boards operate on a schedule all their own, I learned YESTERDAY that I was to attend a two-week conference-y thing nearby. Well, if I wish to be paid for the aforementioned conference-y thing I have paperwork to submit. Summer = all offices and schools are closed on Friday. Today = THURSDAY. Next Board meeting for my pay to be approved next Tuesday. So my beach trip was delayed by a trip to my school, back to my home and to the district office. GRRRRR.

Finally got there. Hungry girls and hot sun. It was good to see them play. The little one came up with a new friend and said, "we found a plasic bag and a nine-year old." LOL...out of the mouths of babes. The little girl they "found" was just visiting our area and was happy to have playmates. We saw dolphins frolicking. They found hermit crabs and jellyfish. I found my beach chair and "A Passage to India." Life is good.

Our trip ended on a cloudy note. "Med a lee" , as I am known to the girls, isn't a big fan of Florida's thunderstorms. When I saw it moving towards us, I hinted...not so subtly...that all good things must come to an end.

We headed back home. During a torrential rain. YAY! Greeted by the sound of a soon to be 16 year old boy practicing drumrolls out in the shed. All is well and life really is good. Happy summer. More to come later.

Wow...it's been a while!

Unimaginable...it's been a busy time. I just got home from "Newberry's Backyard BBQ." They have near 'bout the best BBQ chicken anywhere around. It was a good ending to a long - but productive day. Started the morning with my favorite date (for the past 24 or so years!) went to my favorite bakery where they serve perhaps the best French pastries anywhere, drank my favorite coffee (Starbucks--yes, I am a corporate puppet). We then went leisurely WANDERING to pick BLUEBERRIES! Hurrah for Brad's Organic Blueberries! He's a post all on his own. :)

It was about 95 degrees but beautiful. The trees had been pretty well picked over but we still managed to get 3 lbs. At 2.50/lb. that was a steal. Even at WM (corporate puppet again) they were 2.48/PINT and that was on sale! Same reason I finally bought a Meyer Lemon tree...I HATE paying so much for fruits, herbs, and other produce. I never had a garden growing up but my grandparents, and their grandparents, and their..well, you get the point...did. I'm trying hard to learn about gardening and native plants. I'm mostly trying to learn how not to kill stuff. My great Grandma Quillen had a green thumb not to be believed. The smell of rich, fertile soil immediately takes me back to her yard with its beautiful roses and white half runner beans growing side by side. She was a native of Tennessee so you can imagine how much she LOVED being able to grow year round here in Florida. One of my worst memories from her yard though was eating a pepper I was told NOT to touch. I have no idea what it was I just know it was small, yellow, and HOT as Hades. I don't think I even put the pepper itself in my mouth, I just rubbed my hand over my lips. Man, I still feel that pain!

So now I'm off to get the berries in the freezer. Then off to bed with visions of blueberry muffins, blueberry - lemon tea cake, blueberry crepes, and blueberry tarts dancing in my head. Sweet dreams! :)

Some more SPRING!

Spring!

 

did I mention...

that I'm a past member of the NCTE (Nat'l Council of Teachers of English)? So, I get their newsletter. Lo and behold, checking my school email I see the new newsletter. Then, to my shock and further mortification, I see the Gville Sun article about me there. Linked to a blog. ALL of it in a very public arena. I know GOD has a purpose. I just wish I knew what it was. It just goes on and on...http://ncteinbox.blogspot.com/

Outside

I discovered Picasa! YAY!

and more...

Even though it's a bad day, I'm surrounded by beauty. My diploma, the back of my Mama's house, the dogwood tree, a lily, the redbud tree on a blue sky canvas.

so you had a bad day...

Yes, a bad day. A bad week. I am on administrative leave from my teaching job. I am heartbroken. But, I know that God is in control. "I don't know about tomorrow, there are things I don't understand, I don't worry over the future, but I know who holds my hand." Here's what I've spent my days doing... and the chocolate cake is actually amazingly delicious...the pic doesn't do it justice. : )

and today I became lunch

Now I know how that little duck really felt...

My teaching life...

I often wonder if I've chosen the right career. Sometimes I feel like this little duck...I'm there just checking things out, but in the back of my head I know I might be lunch.

Sometimes we fight for the wrong reasons

and people die.

It makes me sad when I think about injustice. Attending the festival in Olustee today brings up mixed feeling for me. I am proud to be a Southerner. I am proud to be a Floridian. I am not proud of the way African Americans have been treated here. I've felt this way all my life. It's just been an inherent feeling for me. It has always given me a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. We are all SO much more alike than we are different.

I am a word person. I LOVE language. I love the way words sound. I love the way they feel in my mouth. I love to hear people with different accents speak. So then, when I see words in Latin or French or Spanish or English and compare the similarities between the words, it makes me wonder even more why we insist on being different. Sharing something as basic and necessary as language, the very way we communicate, should cause wonder. It should inspire kinship. Yet, even still today it causes us to fight for the wrong reasons. And people still die.

Friday night and warm friends...

I guess I love Friday nights. It's the end of a work week, my family is usually home, and it's amazingly relaxing. As the kids have gotten older, time spent at home is slowly decreasing. They have friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, dances, jobs and so it goes. My daughter still wants to watch "Lion King" with us. That makes me happy. My son still tells me his stories. That too makes me happy. It's 35 degrees here now. My daughter made homemade bread. I live a blessed life.

Poems

OK, so pretty much poetry makes me happy. I was never much of a poetry fan until college. It is SUCH a release. I'm trying to make my little angels understand that...it's one area of English where there really, honestly are no wrong answers. They're supposed to recite a poem from memory on Wednesday. My Valentine's Day gift to them! :) So, my Valentines gift to you, a couple of mine. I hope you get to spend Valentine's Day with the ones you love. Enjoy!

Last Words
I wanted him to know I understand.
I tasted
the crabapple rage.
I smelled
the mocking isolation
Were God's eyes open to our heartbreak?
My emotions appear as
worn words
on serious white paper.
Yours spill out
in brash, splashy color
on stylish canvas.
Starry Night Vincent
Exquisite.
Wrapped in blue darkness,
the steeple closed its eyes.
God did too.
What eternity do we face?
You and I share a black-cum-gray world.
Players in a tragedy.
Your paintings of anguished release.
My muddled words
fill simply empty air.
We don't belong.
I am sorry for your fight with Gauguin.
I am sorry I missed the train.
I toil with the heaviness of the wheatfield
crows that terrify me.
Dr. Gachet thought you were doing well.
I made it to you Vincent.
If only you had held tighter
to those spiraling tress you painted at Saint-Remy.
I understand the sunflowers now.
They answered for us both.

Dripping a Valiant Death

You watch quietly.

Flickering light.

Billowing.

Flame like an old lady's fingers.

Fiery life's blood drips like tears.

How sad to feel

your body waning.

Each drop steals a bit more.

Scent of wildflowers settling

dim as twilight

Still as a sated lover.

coffee warm.

Flaming, but without malice.

Burning, but not destructive.

Silently knowing your benefit to me

is death to you.

whisper hot words

guide a young man's hands.

Dauntless now. Skin shed.

Your loftiest aspiration to serve.

Gallant light, breathe your last.

Wilt away.

MY Friday night lights

It's Friday night.
9:53
37 degrees
made it through the first week having my attack student back
new furniture (1st in 18 years!)
hot coffee
new magazines
Jimmy Stewart on the TV
hubby playing a video game
daughter out with a "friend"
little boys (son and bud) playing with fire in the back yard -
they are getting ready for the Medieval Faire
haven't talked to Mama all day (daughter did, she's fine)
candle glow
smells like peace (is that possible?)
cats all snuggled up and warm
my life is blessed
It's Friday night.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Grandma and the "babies"
One of 20+ years of the Christmas Cousins on "Poppie's couch"

It's the beginning, the middle and the end! I LOVE Christmas. I love everything about it. The only thing that tempers the joy is that my Daddy died December 7th. He loved Christmas too. I miss him a little more around this time of year. I know Mama does. That's what makes this even harder. I know that I should take care of her without complaint. But, it is HARD. I didn't expect to be the caregiver for teenagers and a Grandma. When Daddy died, I said I would do anything to help and I did. I moved in with my husband (God bless him), my children (6 and 3), lock, stock, and barrel! Did I mention MY grandma lived there too? So anyway...point is, I've been doing this caregiver thing for a while.My mom has recently taken to falling. Forward, backward, sideways...every which way but loose. She has bad knees, diabetes, osteoporosis...and so it goes. I talk to her oh, probably 12 times a day. Did I mention she lives within spittin' distance? So I see her daily as well.

My mom is a throwback. She wanted to be a wife and mother. She wanted to stay home with her kids. She was raised by her "Mama and Papa" because her mom was a wild child. She was "Mother" to her, never Mama. She grew up knowing who her father was and that he didn't take care of her as he did his "legitimate" children. She loved him still and cried when he died. She cooked every meal, washed all the clothes, paid all the bills, wiped most of the tears and cleaned most of the scraped knees. Daddy was in the Navy until 1966 and Mama had four kids at home. Kids born in 1955, 1956, 1957, and 1966 (that'd be me and no, I am not an accident) She didn't drive...never had a license. She taught me about God and took me to church every Sunday. She made sure I knew that was the most important thing. She was instrumental in the integration of our school in the early 70's. She babysat in the 80's so I could have Lacoste shirts and a car. She kept Daddy from killing my brothers when they wrecked cars. She kept him from killing my sister when she wrecked a Jeep with me in the front seat and my teeth hit the dashboard. She babysat for me in the 90's so I could work without paying for daycare. She cried right along with me when I became the first college graduate in our family(at age 39.) I don't think she could have been more proud. So, when I think about it, maybe I owe her a little more than I like to give. I know she won't be here for a whole lot longer. And I know I'll miss seeing that phone number (which we've had for my whole life) on the caller ID. Maybe it takes seeing things in black and white to see them clearly.

Maybe I should let her read this too.

Post Thanksgiving wonderings

My days "off" for the holiday have been like this:
Wake up
Check on Mama
eat something
check on Mama
watch Hallmark or Food Channel
help Mama off her potty
cry and stress over Mama
drink tea
check on Mama
I guess you get the picture. She fell Sunday and ended up in the ER. She wasn't able to go to my brother's for Thanksgiving. I don't think I'm ready for this.

Wow...now I'm a real teacher...

Well...today I walked into a vandalized classroom. That classroom was mine. I've been egged (2x) and now spraypainted and books trashed. It's frustrating. It hurt my feelings. But, I'll go back tomorrow, smile, and tell them welcome back (Today was a teacher workday.)

Hopefully some of the things I do make an impact. Things like turning the other cheek when you really want to punch someone. I try wholeheartedly to practice what I preach---especially in front of my kids (both personal and school.) I've always believed in justice, that good things happen to good people. But as I get older, who knows anymore. I'll add the little angels to my prayers tonight and have a better day tomorrow. Good night.

Teaching, Talking and Teenagers...oh my

This is such an interesting week at my school. It's homecoming and apparently the kids think it's vacation time. They're wild and crazy! Me, I'm just CrAzY. Here are the pictures of the flowers I've always called fire flowers. Being able to come home and see things like this make it all better! There's also a pic of Mama's persimmon tree. The only thing I know to do with them is make persimmon bread. Any other suggestions?

The demon seed---Golden Rainshower trees

They are the bane of my existence. As you see, they grow anywhere and they LOVE my rain gutters. These pics are from my yard and Mama's. The biggest(the full shot) tree is the one in her yard that started it all. It was beautiful outside this morning. The air was a little cooler and there was a light fog. Ah, fall in Florida. More outdoor pics from this morning to follow.

I hate Golden Rainshower trees. But I love these guys.

I have a love-hate relationship with these trees. They are beautiful. They are stunning actually. But they spread like bunnies on steroids. On our block, there are probably 10 to 20 of these things. There are about 5 houses on the block. What's important to understand is that these are all the spawn of one tree in my mom's yard. I've lived in this same location for 30+ years, so I know they weren't here from the get-go. They are all the things I hate about plants---the ones I want to grow, won't. The ones I wish would die a slow painful death, thrive! SO, I was going to show pics of these trees and was side tracked by a trip to WalMart. It was dark when I got home so I'll try to get them in the morning.

My husband and I are alone at home. That's happening more and more these days. As we drove up to our son's soccer game that same thought hit me again. What will we do when there are no more soccer games to attend? No more papers to proof read? No more last minute permission slips to sign, not to mention the "oh, I have to have $10,20, 100 for this" requests. I'm not sure I'm going to be a good "empty nester." Then I worry I will REALLY turn into my mom, calling them 50 times a day to tell them there's a new place on my arm and I think it's cancer and should I have it looked at??? Sheesh, what comes around goes around. Why is it that when you really WANTED all that alone time with your mate there was none to be found? But, now, when you're 40 and you'd likely rather sleep than participate in any other nighttime festivities, there's all the time in the world? Youth really is wasted on the young.

Well, the school week ended without incident. It isn't easy being old and starting a new career no matter how much you know it's where you're supposed to be. I am glad it's the weekend. Now my problem is I want to accomplish too many things and have too little time. I am going to rest. I am going to cook. That much is for sure. Everything else is on a wait and see basis.